Getting a feeling that I'm being disliked... on the way home; looking up at the brightness of the room. I wonder what kind of feelings I'm experiencing now. When we get into a fight I apologize immediately. I'm weak, and you are such a sly person. During nights when my tear-stained voice cannot be heard. I want to become willful even if it means being a nuisance. Tried to say I'm alright but that's not possible is it? I'm accustomed to seeing my sorrowful face reflected in the puddle, because I'm fully aware of my intention not to say that I give up; I become hurt. Whenever I'm treated gently by you I will feel like crying, you're really such a sly person after all. During nights when my tear-stained voice cannot be heard. I want to become willful even if it means being a nuisance. Tried to say I'm alright but that's not possible is it? In front of you I'm such a liar you know; Kept thinking I hope that you would realize this, because I'm not in the least that strong at all. Despite already deciding not to allow my tears to fall. I'm troubling you aren't I? I just cant be willful. Once again I asked myself if I was alright but, thats not possible is it?
I don't care much for people's opinions about me, but when word travels fast, things begin to dawn on me as I realize I am more alone than I have ever noticed. It's one thing to go and talk mess about someone and go to their face and act as if nothing has been said, but it's sad when the main reason for it is simply because of your appearance; something you are unable to change. I don't have low self-esteem, but it's hard being alone for nearly nine hours in a school of almost four thousand students, and only three of them care for your existence or presence. I will never be able to comprehend why people are so judgmental on looks when in reality, people should look on the inside at the person's personality rather than their cover. I don't understand how cold and heartless people can be, but when I say this, I realize that it's not me who has the problem, it's most of my Generation with the problems.
I've given up on ever finding a relationship, because I've found that I never let one last longer than a week because I'm expected of more than I will ever be willing to give to someone, so at this point, I don't believe in all this relationship stuff, especially not in high school, because guys are mostly hormonal and fake(no offense, sorry) and I don't intend on putting myself into something like that at any point in my life.
Sorry. This may not have seemed like a rant, but it sort of was. I blame Steven.
Listening to: CatswillRule - Namidairo